Okay so…. “Out of State” haven’t had a real conversation with him in a while like it’s easier to blow him off now. We were like perfect and he’s coming during the summer but I’m not that excited for it anymore. It’s like I’m starting to not even care anymore which is sad when our whole mutual liking thing had been for years. Then there’s that one friend that I made this year, got super close with and then shit went bad, made up, and now we don’t talk anymore. Lowkey missing that, how we were, and alot of things. We don’t always see eye to eye, in fact we barely ever do but we were still close regardless. We can fuss and fight but that’s still my dawg. And he’s not even my dawg at that, like our conversations sometimes were beyond friends. We could be mad at one another and still manage a stubborn “I love you”. Like 😩. I just miss how things were, it was pretty great. Good enough that they could’ve replaced “out of state”. Then there’s dude that likes me and I put him through hell pretty much. He’s proven himself, he has been able to get to me. I can confide in him, he’s a nice guy. But I don’t like nice guys, it’s okay to be an asshole towards me, shit everyone is.
Sometimes I really just don’t know what to do or think. :/